Culture vs Manhood

I was recently involved in a strong debate on how the culture we are living in today is affecting the man in his home and his role as the provider. The issue seemed to be more touching to the immigrant man who has come to this country and is raising a family. The fact that this man was used to a certain way of lifestyle where he was known as the head of the family ,the bread winner and the boss. But as soon as he landed here, he "was stripped of his manhood". He can no longer w00p the kids for wrong doings without the threat of child services or 911 being mentioned, he is no longer the bread winner because mum is an executive too and she is working late. Meaning dad has to get into the kitchen every now and then and cook up something to keep him and the kids going.Kids are cursing like they just invented a new language, they are so over informed that many times they correct dad as he is trying to lecture them.
Well i sat there and kind of thought wow. Hey! any of you fathers out there who can share how you handle the whole thing? some of as are headed toward that direction and would like to remain sane.

If not church then where?

I have been thinking to my self what is the church turning to and what is going to happen to the innocent souls that keep walking into church with great expectations and desire to learn and grow more, what about our youth and teenagers who have come out of the worldly nature and adopted and embraced the word of God with so much zeal and passion? or what about that person that has been drinking for years but has finally seen the light and is just hungry for more knowledge in truth? what happens to these kind when we have to tell them or when they witness that our church leaders are fighting , are causing pain to some members, talking negative things about their members, corrupt, gossiping, exploiting church funds, digging deep into members personal information and life in the name of accountability whereas they are equipping themselves for that day when you will not agree over an item then they can unleash all weapons.
I grew up knowing one thing ,that the church is where one could go for healing , forgiveness , repentance, it was meant to be a place of refuge and of a family setting, a place of rebuke but with love, a place of moral correction and spiritual conviction... is this changing over the years? If i cannot confess my sins to the pastor or even just council with the pastor without my confessions being on the front page of the next day newspaper, then where will i go? If i cannot go to church and learn love by what i see and witness in the church leaders then where? If love, the bible says covers a multitude of sin, why does a multitude of sin in the church cover the love that's meant to be? If not in the church then where? I am troubled and bitterly tear in my heart when those who are meant to be our spiritual leaders and mentors are the ones that hold in their hands the hummer that is pounding and breaking as apart instead of building and mending us. If not in the church then where can i get help?